Woman wonders if she's wrong for letting her pregnancy news slip at friend's bridal shower: '[The bride] was upset that I announced my pregnancy at her bridal shower'

Author image for Brad Dickson
Brad Dickson • Managing Editor
Aug 30, 2024 10:00 AM EDT

There are certain implied rules of engagement when it comes to celebrations, and it's generally expected that you'll let the person being celebrated have their moment and not do anything to steal their thunder by making major announcements of your own that are bound to generate buzz and get people talking about you.

Of course, this is notoriously hard for some people who can't bear to not be the center of attention, which is why we end up with so many of these stories of entitled friends and family making their own inappropriate and ill-timed announcements at weddings and the like. Some people weren't taught that they're not the center of the universe and it shows.

Still, though, are you in the wrong if the news getting out is not of your own doing? But rather, because you're playing a game of social dodgeball with a glass of champagne that's being forced upon you by another celebrant, you get caught in a white lie about why you're not partaking in the liquid festivities.

This woman earned the ire of the bride when news of her pregnancy leaked at the bridal shower. The thing is, it wasn't of her own doing but rather that of another friend who deciphered her happy secret and got the room buzzing with news that she had never intended to share. She took to this online community to see whether or not she was in the wrong and whether or not the bride was justified in her disappointment towards her.

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  • 01
    "[Am I wrong] for announcing my pregnancy at my friend's bridal shower?"
    via Andre Hunter
  • 02
    AITA for announcing my pregnancy at my friend's bridal shower? I 31 Fam a bridesmaid for my friend Abby 32DF. Abby and I are high school friends, and while we've drifted, I was honoured to be a bridesmaid. She asked some of our other hs friends, some of which I have seen since college in person.
    via u/Own_Cod_7746
  • 03
    I found out I was pregnant a few weeks ago, but I didn't want to announce it, as I announced my pregnancy last year to family and friends and then had a miscarriage. I was quite surprised I was pregnant again so soon, but me and my boyfriend was happy and we decided to wait until I was further along to announce to be in the safe side.
    via u/Own_Cod_7746
  • 04
    At Abby's bridal shower, her MOH got us to play a drinking game. I opted out of drinking obviously, and settled on water and said I had to be up early tomorrow so I couldn't drink. I thought it was fine, until halfway through my hs friend Jane was quite tipsy and offered me a shot, and I said no I really can't. She pestered me, and said that she would personally wake me up early tomorrow so it would be fine, but I insisted no. She then asked if I was pregnant and I got flustered and said no, but
    via u/Own_Cod_7746
  • 05
    She was quite loud and congratulated me and told everyone I was pregnant. I felt really uncomfortable, as I didn't want to disclose this, and it was Abby's day not mine. Everyone congratulated me there and I brushed it off, thinking people were quite tipsy so they'd probably not even remember tomorrow morning.
    via u/Own_Cod_7746
  • 06
    I wasn't having that much fun as everyone else was drinking, so I opted to leave first and thought it was all fine. I got a text today, two days later from Abby saying she was upset that I announced my pregnancy at her bridal shower. I apologised on text and said I didn't mean for it to come out, but that Jane had announced it.
    via u/Own_Cod_7746
  • 07
    OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the a ☐le: My friend noticed I wasn't drinking at a bridal shower and didn't buy my excuses, and cussed I was pregnant. The bride is upset with me for upstaging her bridal shower and called me TA.
    via u/Own_Cod_7746
  • 08
    TOOnarmy1 4 hr. ago NTA because you didn't announce it. You didn't do anything wrong. Make sure that's clear. WHY ON EARTH would you take responsibility for someone else's mistake? "Hi Abby, I understand you're upset and I don't blame you. But you seem to not understand exactly what happened. I did not in ANY way "announce" my
    via u/Own_Cod_7746
  • 09
    pregnancy at your shower. I would never do that. Jane kept pressuring me to drink alcohol, even after I declined over and over. I obviously couldn't drink but I didn't want to let her know why. But she didn't stop, and when she finally asked me POINT BLANK if I was pregnant, I even told her "No." I said no specifically because I didn't think it would be appropriate to
    via u/Own_Cod_7746
  • 10
    discuss my pregnancy at your shower. With anyone. Hubby and I agreed to wait longer anyway, due to our previous miscarriage. Jane, unfortunately in her tipsy state, decided ON HER OWN in that moment to loudly call me a bad liar and announce to everyone in earshot that I was pregnant. SHe announced it. I did not do that. I was horrified. I had nothing to do with it, I didn't want it, and it made me
    via u/Own_Cod_7746
  • 11
    incredibly uncomfortable. I don't blame you for being upset about this, I also would have been upset! It was totally out of line. But please know that I didn't announce anything and didn't tell anyone that I was pregnant. Jane, tipsy or not, embarrassed me, ruined my opportunity to announce my pregnancy to my friends at a later date as I had originally planned, and managed to upset
    via u/Own_Cod_7746
  • 12
    you at your shower at the same time. I'm personally upset with her. You had this happen at your shower, and now I don't get to announce to my friends in a few weeks like I wanted. I hope you will not try to hold me responsible for actions that Jane took on her own. Again, I'm so sorry that this happened, it was never what I wanted and I am also upset about how it all went down."
    via u/Own_Cod_7746
  • 13
    SupermarketNeat4033 5 hr. ago NTA You didn't announce it, you just weren't successful at hiding it. You can't control that Jane guessed you were pregnant. It doesn't sound like Abby had the time/ability at the shower to understand exactly what happened, so I can understand how she was lead to the wrong impression that you'd intentionally told someone
    via u/Own_Cod_7746
  • 14
    about your pregnancy. From the information she had, she's perfectly valid for voicing she was upset. Jane is kind of an AH for outting you though. You were obviously trying to hide your pregnancy, so it'd be easy to guess that you don't want that information shared and she immediately shouted it. I know alcohol can make people forget how to socialize properly or completely lose the ability to read a room
    via u/Own_Cod_7746
  • 15
    and I'm sure she just had good intentions that she was excited for you, but that's still a major on her part. I think a way it could've maybe been avoided would've been to tell Abby before hand that you won't/can't be drinking at the shower so she or the MOH could've planned to discreetly intervene with people pressuring you to drink.
    via u/Own_Cod_7746
  • 16
    rosezoeybear 5 hr. ago NTA but Jane is. You should have been able to turn down alcohol without getting the third degree.
    via u/Own_Cod_7746
  • 17
    • CatDependent4280 5 hr. ago NTA because you didnt mean for it to come out. Jane is TA because she shouldnt have announced news that wasnt hers to share. Who does that? Obviously OP didnt want to share that news with everyone or she wouldve made the announcement herself. Also I hate when people pressure others to drink. What if someone was a recovering alcoholic, or struggled with their relationship with alcohol, or just didnt like it? Peer pressuring someone to drink like its high. school is la
    via u/Own_Cod_7746
  • 18
    keesouth .5 hr. ago NTA. You didn't announce it. Jane outed you. You do need to learn to "I politness". You should have told Jane that you didn't want a I drink and to leave you the alone. Text Jane and tell her she needs to learn how to mind her own business because she ruined the shower for you and the bride.
    via u/Own_Cod_7746
  • 19
    Active-Anteater1884 5 hr. ago . Foolproof way to handle it: "No shots for me, thanks." "Why aRENt U DRINKinG WITH us?" "I can't drink on my medication."
    via u/Own_Cod_7746
  • 20
    Dizzy-Potato3557 .5 hr. ago NTA. You didn't announce anything and Jane is the one who should apologize.
    via u/Own_Cod_7746
  • 21
    Photomama16 · 5 hr. ago NTA- you didn't announce it... Jane did. Jane is the one that needs to apologize. Fill Abby in on what happened, and let her know Jane backed you into a corner. Tell her you had no intention of your news getting out and taking attention away from her shower.
    via u/Own_Cod_7746

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aita bride wedding party wedding drama bridesmaids bridal party reddit story wedding etiquette reddit thread weddings
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